Are you exhausted from getting into daily power struggles with your child? Does it feel like everything you say, they challenge or push? That is so frustrating
Are you tired of or afraid of setting boundaries because of the meltdowns that follow? Do you avoid setting them sometimes or ignore your child's requests? Perhaps you even feel guilty or mean when you have to say no.
Well, would it help you to know that your strong-willed sensitive child
will always push boundaries and you want to be able to handle that in a way that preserves the very essence of them: their tenacity and determination, and their beautiful kind hearts. They have come into the world to break down and challenge old systems. They make great leaders which is awesome. I call these children Wild Hearts and you can read more about that here
.Do you wish your child would just do as you ask them to do and not avoid or question it?
Strong-willed children act from a place of integrity so if they believe something isn't right for them, then they won't do it. It's commendable because they want to do the right thing. It's just not the right thing for you.How can you remember that you are on the same team?
How would it feel to have less power struggles and more co-operation? How would it feel to know that your conversations had more positive outcomes and that you felt less stressed about parenting your child? The child who pushes your buttons is actually a gift and will help you grow and learn new things about yourself and the world you live in. Even though right now I'm sure it doesn't feel like that.I created this online learning pack for you because....well this was me growing up
I was a force to be reckoned with as a child. The eldest of 4, I was on the front line screaming and shouting and not wiling to back down if I thought I had a point to prove. We didn't have boundaries in our house and so, boundaries have been my life's work and want to share all that I have learnt with you. Believe me, you will wish you had known this stuff sooner. There is a part of me that wished I did too.
I want to show you how to set and uphold boundaries with empathy so that your strong-willed sensitive child can save face and maintain their lovely big bold spirit, and
you don't have to get stressed in a power struggle situation.
👍 When you have empathetic boundaries:-
- You can stop exhausting yourself trying to control everything
- 'Yes!' stops becoming your automatic response to everything
- You can let go of worry, feel safer and more relaxed
- You can stop trying to save the world with your pants over your trousers (not a good look!)
- You won't have to threaten or bribe or shame your child into co-operating
- You will enjoy parenting and being with your strong-willed sensitive child again
👍 Even better...with empathetic boundaries:-
- Your child will feel safer
- Your child will be strengthening their ability to control themselves
- Your child will be assertive (no passive aggression or aggression here)
- Your child will grow up knowing how to set boundaries
- Your child will be less likely to be bullied
- Your child will be clearer about who they are
- Your child will be able to make the right decision (for them!)
- Your child won't be a people pleaser
- Your child will be able to get their needs met (without manipulating or feeling ashamed)
- Your child will value themselves
⭐ Boundaries are a vital part of your parenting tool kit ⭐
Without boundaries your child will struggle in life. Take it from somebody who knows and is still learning now. That's a big therapy bill. I've learnt that the reason we don't set boundaries or we can't uphold them is because we can't deal with our child's response to them. If you scroll down the page you can see a list of the modules and lessons in more detail.
Children without boundaries can grow up becoming People Pleasers, they find it hard to make decisions and they are a soft target for a bully.
Wow thank you Lisa what a powerful course...much better than sitting on the sofa scrolling through FB or watching telly! I just loved being in that place where other mums were being honest and we were making each other feel better as we know we are not alone with this stuff and that it is okay to make mistakes as a parent “I’m only human after all”!
This morning my daughter was desperate to play with her dolls before school but as always time was against us(!) so I did lots of empathy (I thought about how frustrating it is when I run out of time doing things before school pick up and something doesn’t get done. It’s really annoying!) and just being with her and saying “Ugh this is annoying” and “It's rubbish that you can’t keep playing with the dolls” made it okay with her. I kept to my boundary, we left on time for school and we left happy. Last night made me realise every day won’t be like this and that is just life but if I can make it happen more just by being more understanding but strong with what needs to happen then that is great. Thank you!
In this online learning pack, you and I will do a little Smiley coaching together so that you can work through your boundary blocks and triggers and not feel so tired and frustrated with your child.
You will get a mixture of workbooks, reflection questions, video and audios which will give you :-
⭐ A deep dive into empathy
(what it is, why it is essential to optimally parenting and building a strong healthy relationship with your child and how you can cultivate more of it).
⭐ Some soul searching and thought provoking coaching activities
to unlock your boundary blocks and understanding your angry triggers.
⭐ A deep and meaningful conversation with your inner child
and some very heart-felt messages from your own child so you can meet them where they are (empathy again!).
⭐ Lots of practical tools
which you can put into practice straight away and make long-lasting changes (small and deliberate actions taken over time have the biggest results).
⭐ 6 'Baseline Boundary Basics' Lessons
which includes what boundaries are, how to set them, how to tell if you have healthy boundaries and what to do when somebody doesn't respect them.
⭐ A 2-hour powerful Master Class on 'Boundaries in Action'
so you can bring this course to life and make it work for you and your family.
⭐ A 1-hour fun family coaching class to decipher 'What is Important to your Family?'
This will provide you with a set of family values and will help give clarity and understanding of one another. You can also get your creative on and turn your discoveries into a vision board.
⭐ A fun creative exercise
which you can do with your child to teach them how to set boundaries so they feel safe when you are not there.
⭐ An easy step by step guide
what to do when your child has a meltdown or there is a power struggle and how you can instantly diffuse this situation.
⭐ A look at why punishment doesn't work
(this is not a boundary and actually makes your child more angry, whilst weakening that all important trust in your relationships).
⭐ What you can do and say instead of punishment or enforced consequences
to guide your child towards course correcting their own behaviour, so they are acting from a place of integrity (which is important to a strong-willed sensitive child).
⭐ Special Bonus Features
🎁 A Beautiful Morning Guided Visualisation
for you to download and set your intention each day
🎁 A Super Handy Booklet containing 12 scripts
of what to say in those frustrating parenting situations like:
1: Script for Not Paying Attention
2: Script for Anger
3: Script for Non Co-operation
4: Script for Defiance
5: Script for Constant Demands
6: Script for Frustration
7: Script for Bad Mood
8: Script for Squabbling
9: Script for When you are Triggered
10: Script for When your Boundary is Disappointing
11: Script for When Emotions Run High
12: Script for When you Feel Disrespected
🎁 Reading Recommendations and Resources
so you can further your knowledge if you want to
🎁 Bonus Video:
Why Punishment Doesn't Work
👇 Scroll right down to the bottom of the page and see each module detailed in full 👇
⭐ WHY WORK WITH SMILEY?
In the past 10 years, I’ve successfully helped hundreds of children overcome and deal with anxiety, anger, autism, stress, exams, homework, sleepless nights, bullying, self doubt, separation anxiety to name but a few. There's so many positive reviews on my Facebook Page and also here on my website.
You can also >>read more about Michelle's coaching journey with me here
⭐ This online learning pack is for you if ...
- you have a strong-willed sensitive child
- you feel as if your child isn't co-operating or respecting you
- you have been using punishment and it's not working
- you want to help your child increase their emotional resilience
- you want your child to be able to set boundaries
- you want to improve your communication skills or brush up on your emotional coaching skills (wow parents have so many hats nowadays)
- you are exhausted by your child's emotional outbursts and don't know how to respond to them
- you want to deep dive into your relationship with your child and find a way to make it work
- you have been brought up in an addicted family (even if you are the adult child of an addict) or you are aware that you are or might be co-dependent.
- your child has separation anxiety or struggles to do things without you
- bedtime is a battle ground and you don't get any time to yourself in the evening
⭐ This online learning is NOT for you if ...
⭐ What do I need? ⭐
- you are looking for a magic bullet or a quick fix (maybe start off with my e Book and see how you get on with that first).
- you have good boundaries and you are comfortable setting and upholding them with your child.
- you are confident dealing with your child's big emotions and trust her and you to find your way with them.
- you regularly connect with empathy to your child and are able to parent without using punishment, bribes or threats.
- you are not going to prioritise this and dedicate some time to this every day.
⭐ How do I get started? ⭐
- Quiet space and time in the diary - make a commitment to really do this. Your child wants you to really do this!
- An open mind and willingness to try something new
- Some paper, a pen and a cuppa of course! If like me, you are a stationery addict, this is the opportunity to crack open one of your new journals
- Tablet or electronic device to watch the video
⭐ Additional Support - I am here to help you! ⭐
- Buy the course online and start straight away. It's easy. This video shows you how it works once you are in the learning den.
- Add my email firstname.lastname@example.org to your safe senders list as you will get emails from me telling you how to get the most out of your course (I often fall into your junk box the first time I contact you so this will make sure we stay in touch).
- Carve out time and make it a priority. You can chunk it down into manageable time intervals and make it work for your schedule. In fact, if you do a bit, let it settle, make some notes and then do a bit more, it's likely to sink in and stick. Your child will be so happy that you are doing this course!
- Get started. Get involved. Get Smiley!
I am here for you as you make your way through this mini training. You can email me if you get stuck. I'm sure it will be super helpful in all sorts of situations. However, if for whatever reason, you experience resistance or it brings up strong emotions in you, then please reach out. Often in coaching, anything which needs to be addressed comes out and so it makes sense to have somebody close at hand, who can offer understanding, insights and professional support. I have created a Speak to Smiley Call which is specifically for that. Click here to book a Speak to Smiley Coaching Call
"I just loved taking time out to reflect on things. I need to let my child find their way and stop controlling certain situations. I thought I was protecting her but I am actually stopping her from growing and working out what feels right or not okay. You’re right, what is she going to do when I am not there!? She needs to practise herself so she can handle things herself. I can support her but I can’t keep fixing and rescuing her, it is exhausting for me and really unhelpful for her growing up."
"It was a massive eye opener for me that when I get triggered by something my children do, it actually has very little to do with them. It wasn’t until you asked us to think about something and you asked certain questions that I realised this was the case. I feel that will make a massive difference ‘in the moment’ in future. Looking forward to trying out the scripts, thank you! "