Are you EXHAUSTED from getting into daily power struggles with your child?
Everything you say, they challenge or push? Agggh! So frustrating and triggering.
“Whenever we get “triggered”, we’ve stumbled on something that needs healing. Seriously. Any time your child pushes your buttons, he’s showing you an unresolved issue
from your own childhood.”
― Dr Laura Markham, Aha Parenting.
Are you AFRAID of saying no because of the tantrums that follow?
Perhaps you even feel guilty or mean. Or you avoid asserting your boundaries or ignore your child's requests?
You might also be shielding your child from pain, making mistakes and feeling responsible for their feelings?
I know that comes from loving them, but really
you're teaching your children to take care of other people's feelings - -
that's NOT their job (it's not yours either!!).
Eventually, it leads to unhappiness and complications in their relationships.
boundaries can grow up becoming PEOPLE PLEASERS, they find it hard to make decisions. Without
boundaries, they are wide open and a soft target for frenemies, bullies and toxic friendships.
“Parents get into trouble when they don’t empathize with their child’s pain. They either over identify with the pain of the child and give in, or they get angry at the child’s pain and go to war. Empathy and keeping the limit is the answer for both extremes.” ― Henry Cloud.
Would it help you to know that your strong-willed sensitive child will always push the boundaries?
And you can learn to handle that in a way which preserves the very essence of them: their tenacity and determination, and their beautiful kind hearts. They have come into the world to break down and challenge old systems. They make GREAT LEADERS which is awesome. I call these children Wild Hearts and you can read more about other qualities of Wildhearts
Do you wish your child would just do as you ask them and not avoid it or question you?
Strong-willed children act from a place of integrity
so if they believe something isn't right for them, then they won't do it. It's commendable because they want to do the right thing. It's just not the right thing for you.
How can you remember you're on the SAME team?
The child who pushes your buttons is actually a gift
and will help you grow and learn new things about yourself and the world you live in. Even though right now I'm sure it doesn't feel like that!!
I created this online learning pack for parents because well this was me growing up!
I was a force to be reckoned with as a child. The eldest of 4, I was on the front line screaming and shouting and not willing to back down if I thought I had a point to prove. We didn't have boundaries in our house and so, boundaries have been my life's work and I want to share all that I have learnt with you.
Believe me, you will wish you had known this stuff sooner. There is a part of me that wished I did too. It would have saved me the pain of abusive relationships, of care taking friends and attracting people who wanted to be taken care of.
You don't need punishment either because that just creates more opposition and anger
I want to show you how to set and uphold boundaries with
so that your strong-willed sensitive child can save face and maintain their lovely big bold spirit, and
you don't have to get stressed in a power struggle situation.
How can you find a more harmonious win-win outcome for everybody?
When there is a constant tension between you and your child, it can overspill into the rest of the family. It lurks in the background and walking around on eggshells not knowing if it will all kick off creates anxiety for you and for them. Having good boundaries makes it clear where the line is and means your child will feel safer and secure.
💗 When you learn how to set consistent, empathetic boundaries, your relationship with your child will improve from a place of love and mutual respect
- Your child will feel SAFER (less anxiety)
- Your child will be strengthening their ability to CONTROL themselves (emotionally regulate)
- Your child will be ASSERTIVE (no passive aggression or aggression here) and therefore less likely to be BULLIED
- Your child will be clearer about who they are (a clear sense of self and okay without you)
- Your child will be able to make the right decision (for them!)
- Your child won't be a people pleaser and will value themselves
- Your child will be able to get their needs met (without manipulating or feeling ashamed)
💗 Having boundaries makes parenting a whole lot easier because everybody knows where they stand!
You'll have a more collaborative and cooperative relationship with your child because it will feel like you're on the same team.
- You can STOP exhausting yourself trying to control everything
- 'Yes!' stops becoming your automatic response to everything
- You can let go of worry, feel safer and more relaxed
- You can stop trying to save the world with your pants over your trousers (not a good look!)
- You won't have to threaten or bribe or shame your child into cooperating
- You will enjoy parenting and being with your strong-willed sensitive child again
- You won't have to repeat yourself over and over
You teach people how to treat you! What you allow will continue
Your child will also use your relationship as their template for communicating with other authority figures in their life.
Without boundaries your child will struggle in life. Take it from somebody who knows and is still learning now. That's a big therapy bill. I've learnt that the reason we don't set boundaries or we can't uphold them is because we can't deal with our child's response to them. We're scared of other people's feelings and that's something that we learnt in childhood. I also learnt that setting boundaries was hard when I wasn't connected to my feelings and I didn't know what felt right for me.
👇 Scroll right down to the bottom of the page to see each module detailed in full
Wow thank you Lisa what a
powerful course...much better than sitting on the sofa scrolling through FB or watching telly! I just loved being in that place where other mums were being honest and we were making each other feel better as we know we are not alone with this stuff and that it is okay to make mistakes as a parent “I’m only human after all”!
This morning my daughter was desperate to play with her dolls before school but as always time was against us(!) so I did lots of empathy (I thought about how frustrating it is when I run out of time doing things before school pick up and something doesn’t get done. It’s really annoying!) and just being with her and saying “Ugh this is annoying” and “It's rubbish that you can’t keep playing with the dolls” made it okay with her. I kept to my boundary, we left on time for school and we left happy. Last night made me realise every day won’t be like this and that is just life but if I can make it happen more just by being more understanding but strong with what needs to happen then that is great. Thank you!
Let's take a peek inside ...
In this online learning pack, you and I will do a little Smiley coaching together so that you can work through your boundary blocks and triggers and not feel so tired and frustrated with your child.
You will get a mixture of workbooks, reflection questions, videos and audios which will give you :
deep dive into
(what it is, why it is essential to optimally parenting and building a strong healthy relationship with your child and how you can cultivate more of it).
soul searching and thought provoking coaching activities to
unlock your boundary blocks
and understanding your emotional triggers.
deep and meaningful conversation with your inner child
and some very heartfelt messages from your own child so you can meet them where they are (empathy again!).
⭐ Lots of
which you can put into practice straight away and make long-lasting changes (small and deliberate actions taken over time have the biggest results).
6 'Baseline Boundary Basics' Lessons
which includes what boundaries are, how to set them, how to tell if you have healthy boundaries and what to do when somebody doesn't respect them.
powerful Master Class on 'Boundaries in Action'
so you can bring this course to life and make it work for you and your family.
⭐ A 1-hour
fun family coaching class
to decipher 'What is Important to your Family?'
This will provide you with a set of family values and will help give clarity and understanding of one another. You can also get your creative on and turn your discoveries into a vision board.
fun creative exercise which you can do with your child
to teach them how to set boundaries so they feel SAFE when you are not there.
step by step guide what to do when your child has a meltdown
or there is a power struggle and how you can instantly diffuse this situation.
⭐ A look at
why punishment doesn't work
(this is not a boundary and actually makes your child more angry, whilst weakening that all important trust in your relationships).
⭐ What you can do and say
instead of punishment or enforced consequences
to guide your child towards course correcting their own behaviour, so they are acting from a place of integrity
(which is important to a strong-willed sensitive child).
Special Bonus Features
Beautiful Morning Guided Visualisation
for you to download and set your intention each day.
Super Handy Booklet containing 12 scripts
of what to say in those frustrating parenting situations like:
1: Script for Not Paying Attention
2: Script for Anger
3: Script for Non Co-operation
4: Script for Defiance
5: Script for Constant Demands
6: Script for Frustration
7: Script for Bad Mood
8: Script for Squabbling
9: Script for When you are Triggered
10: Script for When your Boundary is Disappointing
11: Script for When Emotions Run High
12: Script for When you Feel Disrespected
Reading Recommendations and Resources
so you can further your knowledge if you want to.
Bonus Video: Why Punishment Doesn't Work .
👇 Scroll right down to the bottom of the page to see each module detailed in full 👇
Why work with Smiley?
In the past 10 years, I’ve successfully helped hundreds of children overcome and deal with
, autism, stress, exams, homework, sleepless nights, bullying, self doubt, separation anxiety to name but a few. There's so many positive reviews on my Facebook Page
and also here on my website.
You can also >>read more about Michelle's coaching journey with me here.
No More Power Struggles will help you take back control and strengthen your relationship with your child!
This online learning pack is for you if ....
- you have a strong-willed sensitive child who pushes your boundaries
- you feel as if your child isn't cooperating or respecting you
- you have been using punishment and it's not working
- your child doesn't listen and you get frustrated from repeating yourself (bedtime is a battle ground and you don't get any time to yourself in the evening)
- you want to help your child increase their emotional resilience
- you want to improve your communication skills or brush up on your emotional coaching skills (wow parents have so many hats nowadays)
- you're exhausted by your child's emotional outbursts and don't know how to respond to them
- you're overparenting - feeling your child's feelings, protecting them from their feelings or mistakes and doing things which they can and should be doing for themselves
- you want to deep dive into your relationship with your child and find a way to make it work
- you have been brought up in an addicted family (even if you are the adult child of an addict) or you are aware that you are or might be codependent
- your child has separation anxiety or struggles to do things without you
This online learning pack is NOT for you if ....
- you're looking for a magic bullet or a quick fix (maybe start off with my eBook and see how you get on with that first)
- you've got good boundaries and you are comfortable setting and upholding them with your child
- you're confident dealing with your child's big emotions and trust her and you to find your way with them
- you regularly connect with empathy to your child and are able to parent without using punishment, bribes or threats
- you're not going to prioritise this and dedicate some time to this every day
What do I need Smiley?
- Quiet space and time in the diary - make a commitment to really do this. Your child wants you to really do this!
- An open mind and willingness to try something new
- Some paper, a pen and a cuppa of course! If like me, you are a stationery addict, this is the opportunity to crack open one of your new journals
- Tablet or electronic device to watch the video
How do I get started Smiley?
- Buy the course online and start straight away. It's easy. This video shows you how it works once you are in the learning den.
- Add my email email@example.com to your safe senders list as you will get emails from me telling you how to get the most out of your course (I often fall into your junk box the first time I contact you)
- Carve out time and make it a PRIORITY. You can chunk it down into manageable time intervals and make it work for your schedule. In fact, if you do a bit, let it settle, make some notes and then do a bit more, it's likely to sink in and stick. Your child will be so happy that you are doing this course! You'll probably end up doing it more than once and revisiting some of the materials until you internalise them. You'll always have the material to check back on when you need it.
- Get started. Get involved. Get Smiley!
Smiley Private VIP Coaching Support
I'm here for you as you make your way through this online learning pack. You can email me if you get stuck. I'm confident that you won't as it's very self explanatory BUT, when we commit to doing the work on ourselves and we start to grow and change, we experience resistance or it brings up strong emotions. Be mindful this is part of the process. Don't run from yourself and your feelings.
Our emotional triggers in any relationship show us where healing is required and where there's still work to be done.
We're ALL a work in progress.
Often in coaching, anything which needs to be addressed comes out and so it makes sense to have somebody close at hand, who can offer understanding, insights and professional support. That's me!
Upgrade & Fast Track Your Learning
If you buy this course and want support from me, then you can upgrade to family coaching and I'll credit you the money you paid for this course as part of your coaching package.
>>Click here to find out more about Family VIP Intensives with Smiley
You'll wish you'd done it sooner!
"I just loved taking time out to reflect on things. I need to let my child find their way and stop controlling certain situations. I thought I was protecting her but I am actually stopping her from growing and working out what feels right or not okay. You’re right, what is she going to do when I am not there!? She needs to practise herself so she can handle things herself. I can support her but I can’t keep fixing and rescuing her, it is exhausting for me and really unhelpful for her growing up."
"It was a MASSIVE eye opener for me that when I get triggered by something my children do, it actually has very little to do with them. It wasn’t until you asked us to think about something and you asked certain questions that I realised this was the case. I feel that will make a massive difference ‘in the moment’ in future. Looking forward to trying out the scripts! Thank you! "